Empathy for Incels or suggestions for guys
A market society creates winners and losers, especially when it commodifies everything. What is worse is our media has painted a picture of said winners, and they are not the average guy. Men are also aware online dating stats show women are more selective in their matching. Stats show women are dating horizontal and up, prioritizing education and income. These facts are causing some men to feel vulnerable as their wages and education fall behind. Those guys shouldn’t be ostracized; we should feel empathy for them. Incels, like all people, want to know they are valuable and can improve themselves.
First, as a liberal, I think we should push for more egalitarian policies. The fact that colleges are admitting more women than men or more men are falling out of the workforce should not turn men into incels, but it does because we have a society that structures too much into zero-sum games. We need to create more seats and more opportunities for people to thrive. We need to intervene earlier in high school to help students find meaningful and gainful employment with or without a degree. We also need to provide better mentors for young men.
Too many men are growing up without a good male role model and default to media where they see rich, strong men setting unrealistic expectations for them(this causes a lot of resentment). Men need someone to tell them they are valuable and that working on themselves is the best way to help themselves. Too often, incels have fallen into the belief they can not improve themselves. They do not understand hygiene, employment education, and a little personality go a long way. If we want to solve this problem we need to show strategic empathy and build a society capable of building better men.
One more thing, I am an average guy, and I also struggle with dating. I have been in and out of relationships and have felt my self-esteem fluctuate. I am also working on myself and know it is easy to fall into despair, do not do this. When you feel down remember you have the power to shape your world, and you can choose to shape it for the better. Exercise, diet, hygiene, hobbies, reading, volunteering, mock dates, finding a mentor, and so on all improve your dating prospects. They not only give you something to talk about, but they increase interactions with like-minded people (if you are lacking in social skills; think of this as practice). Keep it up you can do this! I will write more articles like this. I hope this helps other guys out there.
